Last Night I Dreamt I was a Refugee

Last night I dreamt I was a refugee.

I was offered an opportunity by a stranger, “leave with us or stay here and die. If you go with us, you may also die, but you may also make it to safety and have a future. If you stay here, there is no future. And if you die, at least you die trying to survive, here you are a victim.”

Making the decision was the hardest part. They said I could never come back if I got on the boat, they said there was no way back home. There was not even enough time to say goodbye; if I did not make it safely to shore, my family would never know what had become of me.

I was in love in my dream, and I knew I could never see my lover again, and it filled me with agony and distress. So I asked myself, is it better to die soon, being able to see my family and my love each day for the time we had left? If I stay I would die, or I would watch them die or both. I would have no future where I was.

The other option was try to live a full life, but I would always miss my family and wonder if they were alive, hurt, sick or maybe doing fine.

I decided to go, somehow I felt that I owed it to my family to stay alive, I knew they would want me to have a future, even if I was leaving them behind to face such danger and hardships. I had an opportunity and I had to take it.

We stepped into a small raft and pushed off out to the sea, the journey was terrifying and perilous, but we made it. In my dream I arrived to a land where everything was different and I didn’t know how to live, or act or be. It was scary, and I was terrified. Soon after, I had gotten word that my family was killed and that everyone I knew was dead. The indescribable pain that followed made me believe that maybe I had died too.

Last night I dreamt I was a refugee and it was a nightmare.

Michaelle
Refugee rights advocate/caseworker
Doctoral researcher on refugees and human wellbeing.

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2 thoughts on “Last Night I Dreamt I was a Refugee

  1. Rachel says:

    Reblogged this on An Empathetic World and commented:

    “Last night I dreamt I was a refugee.” Michaelle Tauson, stepping into the imaginary shoes of those who have faced this perilous journey across ocean and those who may yet still. It doesn’t surprise me that Michaelle would dream this way. I am moved along with her, by the tragedy of our global refugee crisis.

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